she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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