The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
