At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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