when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
