"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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