so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
