I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
