HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
