I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
