so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
