quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Who died my cat blue again?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
