Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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