I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
