There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just high enough for therapy.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
