Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
