remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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