He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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