At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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