went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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