Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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