Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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