New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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