My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
