Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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