Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
