i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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