Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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