Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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