So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
