I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
