thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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