Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
