Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
