I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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