so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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