GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
