From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
