please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
