I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
