apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
