marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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