Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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