Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
