Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
