i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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