If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
