if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
