Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
