I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
