Screwed.edu
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
