ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
